Writing Epiphanies at the Chinese Buffet

I ate dinner at a Chinese buffet tonight. I am horrified to think of how many calories I actually consumed, but more importantly, I hate to think about how many of those calories I didn’t enjoy. I saw all those options in front of me, and I partook of them simply because they were there and they looked good. And the price was right.

Then it hit me. E book offerings are kind of like the Chinese buffet. Browse your buffet of downloadable e books and you’ll find a veritable smorgasbord for you to choose from at prices too good to pass up. How do you choose? In the end, you sample many, simply because you can. They make it so easy, and everything looks so good, how can you resist?

Ah, there’s the problem. Caloric overload. Most of what you get leaves you feeling bloated and unsatisfied, and not long from now you’re just going to want more. You can go back to the buffet. It will be there, offering you endless choices. Surely something will be there that is satisfying. You might get lucky. Or you might just get more of the same, more that leaves you feeling like you wasted your money and you’re just going to want something else in a little while.

To the readers, I say this — read the reviews. You don’t want to get stuck with something that has no value. Read the reviews on the site you’re downloading from, but also check elsewhere. There are plenty of book bloggers who give honest reviews on their own sites. A little homework up front will save you money in your pocket and time to read something worth your while.

To the writers, I say this — if you self-publish, only put your best effort up there. Typos, grammatical errors, syntax problems, and of course, poorly written works only strengthen the argument people make against self-published authors. I can hear James Earl Jones in Field of Dreams saying “If you build it, they will come.” Well, if you write it, they will download it. And if it’s written poorly, they won’t download anything else. You’ve got one shot. Make it count.

The readers are hungry and the buffet is open. Don’t send them away wishing they had gone somewhere else.

Inspiring Blogger

I’m grateful and humbled to announce that a blogger I follow has nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blog Award. P. C. Zick (P.C. Zick in the Writing Life) is an author I met through Facebook, and she lives near my old hometown. She shares similar interests as me, and I enjoy reading her thoughts and following her work. I’m inspired by her efforts.

Here are the requirements for this award:

  1. Display the award logo on your blog.
  2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
  3. State 7 things about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
  5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

Seven things about myself

  1. I’ve never had a cavity.
  2. I can do a split.
  3. I am the only child in my family with brown hair and brown eyes (despite those being the dominant traits and being half Italian).
  4. I’ve seen lightning strike right in front of me three times.
  5. I’ve lived through a tornado passing through my town.
  6. I played four instruments in school, clarinet for the longest.
  7. I changed my major three times in college, but still managed to graduate in four years and with good enough grades to get a scholarship to grad school.

My nominations for the Very Inspiring Blog Award – I chose the following blogs for various reasons, but each because of how it touches me. Some help me in my profession, some simply touch my soul.

  1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pen
  2. The Red Kimono
  3. Five Reflections (prefers not to accept awards, but I find the site inspiring, nonetheless)
  4. Janna Hill
  5. InkWell
  6. My Perfect Pitch
  7. Jan Morrill
  8. Bottomline English
  9. Velda Brotherton
  10. Joy Keeney
  11. Pamela Foster
  12. Truths by Ruth
  13. Italian American Writer’s Cafe
  14. Claire Croxton
  15. A Writer’s Universe

 

Who Wrote That?

My in-laws are in town. I was worried about how I was going to get a blog written today. But, as luck would have it, a guest blogger fell right in my lap with a post ready to go for me. No, it’s not my usual Italian heritage memories, but it is about writing, and it suits this entry perfectly. Having been a ghost writer myself, I know what she means. So, without further ado, I give you Karen Cole, Executive Director of Ghost Writer, Inc.

How to be a Righteous Ghost Writer

What is the point of writing or ghost writing, or even being a ghost writer or author of a novel, book, memoir or screenplay, if nobody else reads it or them? One reader does an experience make whether it is a ghost writer book, ghost writing screenplay or author memoirs. The point has always been the reader, your readers. You think when you ghost write a book between the many of you, what am I going to be an author or screenwriter about, how am I going to have a ghost writer talk, and how am I making ample money for my business, for my family, for myself – how about simply caring about your readers for a change?

What do they want, what sells you to them, how would you go about being a ghost writer or book author client for your readers? Whether you are a ghost writer or book author, it tends to be the case that your readers get awfully lost in the shuffle. The mental picture is somebody so important; they have their pick of all media on the face of the planet – why would they want to view yours? You do have to pick out your audience instead, aiming for something a bit shorter than best sellers, a bit longer than eBooks that make ten cents for you if you don’t aim it, hugging and arming instead a smaller group. Who would be interested in reading your idea book the most and whom are you as a ghost writer or book author writing it for?

It’s not a matter of what you want to say, it’s not a matter of satisfying your own selfish desires. It’s not a matter of how well your book is going to sell; it’s a matter of the nature of your audience. What are their needs? If you haven’t got an idea yet, what do you think is a Big Idea out there, what would appeal to a vast audience? If you do have an idea and you need to fulfill it, who needs that idea, who needs to be a ghost writer for it, who needs it? It’s not a matter of who you already happen to be – it’s largely a matter of where you can take a realistic appraisal. This is what I want ghost writers to consider.

Not the thing everybody else is doing, not the best rewrite, not the kitchen sink of each book or screenplay author’s prose that can be found somewhere else. Something else that is news to your readers, your audience. Not the past, not the present, not the future. Not sexual matters, not war, not how to make peace in our time by selling million dollar babies. Understand this example – books on self-help have sold like hotcakes because they have a readymade audience, namely people who need help. Who needs help, who beseeches a way to find that help, who hires a ghost writer who needs to help an author achieve an audience – who actually needs you?

You should be able, as either a ghost writer or book author, to think about somebody else for a change. Go find your people, and write, draw, plan, dream and implement fantasia for a pared down, niche, select series of groups of them. When you are a ghost writer, find somebody and write only for them – see it now. Give it your all, or give it something, but don’t just write for yourself – unless you really must pass it around to your family, friends and colleagues. Which can be the fairest audiences of some smaller types, of a different drummer, as long as you do realize that you are writing? Who are you a ghost writing team of – you, or all of those others?

Executive Director of Ghost Writer, Inc., Karen Cole writes. GWI at http://www.rainbowriting.com/ghostwritertos.htm is a renowned affordable online professional copy writers, book authors, ghost writers, copy editors, proof readers, coauthors, rewriters, book cover creation, graphics and CAD, digital and other photography, publishing assistance and book and screenplay writers, editors, developers and paid analysts service. We also do presentation and pitch services for your book and/or screenplay ideas to major TV and film industry representatives.

America’s Pastime

The two men most important to me (my husband and my son) have abandoned me and my daughter. Apparently there is something nearer and dearer to their hearts than we are.

I’m just kidding.

They’re off on a manly bonding adventure. To Kansas City.

Isn’t that where all men go for manly things to do?

I know, I know. You’re thinking barbecue. Or, you’re thinking we’re Italian, there is a large Italian community there, so we must have family there.

Wrong on both counts.

They’re there for the Baseball All-Star Game.

My son is so excited. They have great seats for the celebrity game, the home run derby, and the all star game itself. I’d tell you where to look for them on television, but you don’t know what they look like.

So what are my daughter and I going to do? We’ll be like Cinderella, of course. Cleaning and scrubbing and washing for their triumphant return.

Not.

I mean, of course some tidying will need to be done in their absence. I’m not a heathen. But if they’re on vacation, why shouldn’t we be, too?

My daughter had her purse packed the second they left the driveway. She has her route planned through the different malls she wants to hit for every day they’re gone. That’s right. Different malls every day.

I was thinking facials, manicures… she’s thinking BOGOs and clearance racks. And some high end stores thrown in to balance out her haul. (She just had a birthday. She’s ready to go.)

When the cat’s away the mice will play. And when the men are away, the ladies will shop.

What Do You Do With All Those Tomatoes?

Vandergrift, Pennsylvania when I grew up had a decidedly Italian presence. It was even more so when my parents were kids, and probably even more when my grandparents settled there, but still, when I was young, Vandergrift was pretty Italian. Even to this day they have the Festa di Italiana once a year, so the presence hasn’t completely faded. But I digress…

vegetablesThere were a lot of things I looked forward to in the summer, but one thing I hated as a kid. Gardening. There would be weeding and planting and peat-mossing. And then the picking. And picking. And picking.

Italians plant everything. We have huge gardens. We have to have parsley and basil, those herbs are staples, and they will take over your garden in a nanosecond if you aren’t vigilant. Of course we plant tomatoes.

On that rare occasion that we wanted something no one grew, we’d go to an orchard or farm and pick it ourselves. There was no reason to get bruised produce from the store when we could get what we wanted cheaper fresh from the vine. I spent many June weekends in Erie picking cherries right off the trees.

Many of my friends growing up were Italian, so they worked in their family garden, too. Everyone ate zucchini twenty-eight different ways all summer long. If you’re Italian, you know what I mean.

My friends today don’t understand. My kids barely understand. We don’t have a garden where we live, but we try to get the freshest produce we can. Meanwhile our friends and the kids’ friends are eating frozen dinners and sauce from a jar, or, even worse, just getting take out all the time. When my kids have friends for dinner, I always make sure to have a home-cooked meal instead of letting them order pizza (the pizza here isn’t great, anyway). At first my kids were mortified, but their friends loved it, and now everyone looks forward to eating here. They don’t get food like this at their homes.

Who knew fresh tomatoes were for more than sandwiches and salads?

Are You Thinking Godfather or Jersey Shore?

I know, I know. You hear Italian-Americans and you think Capone and Corleone or The Situation and Snooki. And you are either fascinated with one or both of those lifestyles or couldn’t care less about either. And then you don’t think about them at all.

There’s so much more to Italian-Americans than that.

My heritage is rich and full. Like so many Italian-Americans, we aren’t at the head of a major crime syndicate, nor are we stars of a reality TV show. My family came from Italy because of the same social, political, and economical reasons most families came to America. My great-grandfather came here alone, like so many men did, to find work before sending for his family. Once he was settled in Vandergrift, Pennsylvania, he toiled until he had enough money to bring his wife and son over. And once they were here, he kept working. He worked in the mill and grew his family and continued to provide for them until he got sick and died at a terribly young age, causing my grandfather, the youngest, to quit school at fourteen to support his mother, himself, and six brothers and sisters. And he did it without complaint.

That’s the thing about Italians. It’s all about family. You do for family. No matter what.

So my grandfather became the head of his family at fourteen. And even when I was born, the aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews all still treated him like the head of the family. Because he had earned that respect.

My grandfather isn’t with us anymore, but my grandmother still is. She tells me stories of how the wages were different for Italians then, particularly the dark southern Italians like we are. She tells me how the Italians were beaten in the streets and mistreated by other nationalities who had already settled here. That’s why Italians formed their own communities and started their own clubs and shopped in their own stores. It was a matter of safety in numbers and protecting their own. I’m grateful that it’s a different world today.

My family is almost all still in the Western Pennsylvania area. I’m the only one who has had to leave — much like my ancestors, for economic reasons. We went where the jobs were. We now find ourselves in an area without Italian markets and even the closest church is twenty minutes away. We are once again the minority, but it’s not like before.

And I am grateful.

But I haven’t forgotten my roots.

And that’s what I try to breathe that life to in my writing. So no one else forgets, either.

Corporate Identity Expert, Hah!

When I worked full time as a Marketing Communications Specialist for an engineering firm in Pennsylvania, my boss was one of the brightest minds in corporate communications. Under his tutelage, and combining my education and work history, I became a corporate identity master. I could brand anything with ease using any and every tool you could imagine, and probably a bunch you’d never think of.

So why is it that I, a master brander and professional writer, am completely bamboozled when it comes to branding myself using social media platforms? Is it one of those cases where the artist can paint everything but an accurate self-portrait because she can’t see the beauty in herself?

No.

I can see myself for what I am, including the plethora of flaws.

I’m like the millions of other authors out there who don’t get the whole platform thing. But maybe I should say didn’t get the whole platform thing. I’m learning.

Thank you Kristen Lamb for your tireless efforts. I’ve recently read both her books, and I have to say I’m motivated to get out there in the ether and build a successful platform. And I believe it will work because of the strategies suggested in her books. Check out Are You There Blog? It’s Me, Writer, and We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Worth their weights in platinum.

Hilarious and true. Did you forget the mummy… the one who wrote for so long to meet his deadline and got so cold while doing so that he wrapped himself in sheets until they turned into scraps of linen and he looked like a preserved corpse when his friends came to find him? Sometimes I think I’m that mummy/mommy. Great article Kristen. Love the WANAtribe site, too. I’ll be looking for your book, We Are Not Alone… a friend read it and said it’s great. Thanks for your hard work.

Happy Father’s Day!

 Happy Father’s Day! Today is the day set aside to celebrate dads. It was first celebrated in Washington in 1910 in response to Mother’s Day, but it sort of fell into obscurity. It gained national recognition in the 1930s, with the Father’s Day Council being founded in 1938. After years of debate in the government and media, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued a proclamation honoring fathers on the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day in 1966. And here we are today, the third Sunday in June, 2012, honoring dads.

I don’t do it because of a response to Mother’s Day. I don’t do it because of the media hype. I don’t do it because of the presidential decree. I do it because I have a great dad. And so does my husband. And my husband is a wonderful father to our kids.

They deserve some recognition for that.

So today, instead of trying to check items off my honey-do list, I’m going to tell my husband how much I appreciate him just the way he is. And I’m going to tell all the other dads in my life the same.

I hope you all have a great father’s day, how ever you choose to spend it.

Happy Flag Day!

Today is Flag Day, or the commemoration of the day the United States adopted the use of the American Flag as a symbol for our nation. I am proud of my mostly Italian heritage, and I am proud of my Irish, Scottish, German and Dutch heritage as well, although I know very little about my father’s side of the family compared to my mother’s. But I am 100% American and proud of it, today and everyday. I appreciate the freedoms that I have and the soldiers who have fought and are fighting to give those freedoms to me (my niece being one of them). When I see the Stars and Stripes, I know what they represent, and I am grateful. I’m spending some time today thinking about our great nation, and contemplating where we’ve been and where we’re headed. I encourage you all to do the same… and to display a flag. Proudly.

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_Day_(United_States)

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